Kareoke will never be a sober sport
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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