i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
