i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone shattered a urinal.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
