is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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