he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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