I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
