Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
