Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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