You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
