that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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