I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
