bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
