Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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