I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
