He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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