ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's just like the Real World with babies
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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