he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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