i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
