It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
