so explain again why im purple
no
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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