I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
