i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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