Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
