I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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