i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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