i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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