i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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