I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have already put on my inside pants.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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