I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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