I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
