i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
