well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
