cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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