she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My ATM looks so different sober.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
