My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
