you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
