beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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