it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
