Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
