I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
