We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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