You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
