You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
