that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
