So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
