I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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