You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
