he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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