i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
