there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
